Current mood: melancholic
Listening to: Love Spirals Downwards - El Pedregal

It's not that simple to understand myself sometimes. I always hid from the people who surround me all that could show me in some other way, as they used to think about me... to describe me not as that fun and laughing girl (oh yes, I can seem to be such girl), but as a dreamer, tender and easily being wounded... I never wanted to show my weakness, maybe also partly because of subconscious protecting myself, never wanted to show myself sensual, always being shy when something, nevertheless, was emerging on the "surface".
If it all has place to be, why do I want to show some of that hidden feelings to one man through my art? I really can consider him as a friend of mine, but I have many friends and I never wanted to reveal it to anyone before...
Is it such a kind of soul pornography, minute desire to show something unknown about myself (desire to "shock"?) caused by my inner changes or the true proof of my trust to the man, conscious revealing the parts of my inner world? Then why and for what? What shall I give and what shall I get instead?
Where are the answers?